Fighting the Cat in the Cradle – How Will You Choose to be a Father?

Photo by kwanie

Recently I went to visit my Dad. As we were talking an interesting song came playing on the radio. “This song” he remarks, “came out right about the time you were born.” He continues, “Once I started listening to the words, it was a very powerful song for me, and touched me when I thought of having you, my first son”. I had heard the song before, but had not really listened to the lyrics. Since I also just had a son (6 months prior) I was eager to hear something that had to do with being a father, and having a son. The song played on the radio, while my Dad and I listened…

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home dad? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s ok”
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?”
He shook his head and said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?”

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day I said,
“I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you,
Dad It’s been sure nice talking to you”

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me My boy was just like me
- Harry Chapin

As we sat and listened together, the song was also very touching to me. Becoming a new father, my first thought was, “wow, I will never let this happen to me”. But I caught myself thinking exactly what my Dad once thought when he first heard the song.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the song, and the idea of being a better Dad, and still I’m convinced I will not let this happen to me. But it is a constant battle. Anyone who is a Dad out there knows the simple reality that we feel the responsibility tugging at us. We feel the constant need to provide for our family, and support them. This often gets in the way of time spent with them. So this is our battle. I for one am fighting it. Our lot may be to provide, and support our family, but it doesn’t mean that with a little creativity we can’t spend time with them, and do the exactly opposite of this song.

Who’s with me? Who’s ready to fight against “Cat’s in the Cradle” syndrome!