I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life.  ~Abraham Lincoln

To all the moms that I know, you truly are amazing.  Changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night, giving us rides to our friends’ house, coming to our basketball games, encouraging us to do better, helping us grow, and understand the world, helping us get a job, helping us with our homework, being really sad when we move out, being really proud when we graduate college, visiting us as much as you can, truly enjoying visits from us, loving our spouses and families, forgiving us for hurting you, loving us unconditionally through the ups and downs.

Is there anything a mom doesn’t do?  Not really.  They do it all.

There’s no salary, or reward that could adequately fulfill their work and accomplishments.  Thank you for all you’ve done, and all your doing.  You should be comforted to know that there’s only one human we can truly say we owe our lives to…and that’s YOU!

Photo by kwanie

Recently I went to visit my Dad. As we were talking an interesting song came playing on the radio. “This song” he remarks, “came out right about the time you were born.” He continues, “Once I started listening to the words, it was a very powerful song for me, and touched me when I thought of having you, my first son”. I had heard the song before, but had not really listened to the lyrics. Since I also just had a son (6 months prior) I was eager to hear something that had to do with being a father, and having a son. The song played on the radio, while my Dad and I listened…

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home dad? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s ok”
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?”
He shook his head and said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?”

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day I said,
“I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you,
Dad It’s been sure nice talking to you”

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me My boy was just like me
- Harry Chapin

As we sat and listened together, the song was also very touching to me. Becoming a new father, my first thought was, “wow, I will never let this happen to me”. But I caught myself thinking exactly what my Dad once thought when he first heard the song.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the song, and the idea of being a better Dad, and still I’m convinced I will not let this happen to me. But it is a constant battle. Anyone who is a Dad out there knows the simple reality that we feel the responsibility tugging at us. We feel the constant need to provide for our family, and support them. This often gets in the way of time spent with them. So this is our battle. I for one am fighting it. Our lot may be to provide, and support our family, but it doesn’t mean that with a little creativity we can’t spend time with them, and do the exactly opposite of this song.

Who’s with me? Who’s ready to fight against “Cat’s in the Cradle” syndrome!

So we are walking down Main Street, on our way to Seal Beach pier – where we often find ourselves on a weekend afternoon – and we are behind this couple with 2 young boys, maybe 5-7 years of age. Now, the boys are obviously misbehaving to some extent because the parents are holding them close, and speaking loudly to them.

As we get closer to them, I notice the mother and father were holding the young boys by their wrists, and the boys were complaining, “it hurts! it hurts!”. The Dad, in his attempt to calm the boys, and keep them from running a muck, simply replies: “No pain, only obey”, “No pain, only obedience”. Coincidentally, in front of us, but also behind the couple with the boys, was another couple. They were young, looked newly married, or just dating, and more or less like they didn’t have kids. They stopped while we and the couple with the kids continued, but I could hear them talking to each other and laughing “No pain, only obey” as they mocked the couple with the kids.

As I watched this whole episode unfold, my mind wondered in interesting places. At first, I thought, “ok, that’s a strange way to teach the kids, or get them to behave”, but I let it slide, knowing that parenting is such a hard task in and of it’s self, I put myself in their shows, and knew that I wouldn’t know what to do either. Then, I thought, “how interesting that this couple is making fun of them, they have no clue what it’s like to raise kids, and no clue how difficult it is”. I’m only three months into it, and I can already begin to imagine what it must be like to have older kids. Then I thought, “how funny, only months ago that would have been me mocking them, but now I understand”.

So, I hear by vow, I will no longer judge other parents, and their parenting tactics. I understand in a small way, that parenting is the most difficult activity anybody could undertake. Therefore my hats off to anyone who attempts it.

We’ve been parents for 11 weeks now, enjoying every minute of it.  Although it’s some times very difficult, and tries our patience, it’s the most satisifying, and enjoying thing we’ve ever done.  Here are just some small anecdotal observations, that maybe some of the other parent readers can relate to.

Enjoy.

• I enjoy ‘new baby’ smell.
• Crying is not as loud as it used to be.
• I can love something, while simultaneously being upset with it.
• I’m convinced that time actually moves faster now.
• I have seen the cutest thing in the world now.
• Nothing feels like making a baby smile
• It’s never been so satisfying to have a baby make eye contact with me.
• When our baby smiles, the room actually gets lighter
• I can enjoy conversations that only consist of ‘cooo’, ‘ogogaba’, and ‘hababibi’
• When I noticed that he’s grown, I feel strangely satisfied.
• I’ve never seen someone outgrow clothing on the same day!